Announcing the Thewcademy Awards for Edinburgh 2019:
Best baby:
Léonie Constance Hilton
Worst silent disco attendee:
All of them
Best adapted food:
Checkpoint (The haggis scotch egg, to die for. The Caesar salad, light as a dream. The aioli, don’t even.)
Worst flyerer in a non-supporting role:
The anonymous street team girl who was given a stern talking-to just after this exchange…
Anon., on street, thrusting flyer at Karen, my comedy partner’s mother: “PopLab?”
Karen, so far unimpressed but trying to encourage: “Ooh, well, what’s it like?”
Anon.: “Dunno, not seen it.”
Karen: [stony silence, holding up venue pass indicating she works for said company]
Anon.: “Oh great, can you tell me what it’s about? Are they both women?”
Okay, that last bit was made up, but the rest…
Best show (TIE):
Mega Drive, Cruel Intentions, Testament of Yootha, Confirmation, Help I Think I Might Be Fabulous, An Evening Without Kate Bush, Dead Funny, 1000 Great Lives, The Ballad of Kylie Jenner’s Old Face, Austentatious, Sex Shells, and Felix and the Scootermen… (In chronological order, everything I saw. No point regretting that I didn’t see more - Fringe is like that.)
Worst audience interaction at the post-show meet-and-greet:
The attractive but black-souled blonde woman who said this…
Blonde, leaning in too close: “Do you ever do shows in London? I really want to send my boyfriend to see you. Because he would hate it.”
Me: “…Great!”
Blonde: “No, I mean he would love to hate it, does that make sense?”
Me: “…..Maybe don’t send him?!”
Blonde: “No, I mean he would love it, but he wouldn’t want to admit it so he’d pretend he hated it, jowhatimean?”
Me: “…….He doesn’t sound like our audience!”
Blonde: “I don’t think you’re getting it - he’s one of those guys, you know? Haven’t you ever met a guy like that? They love to hate stuff.”
Me: “………Thank you so much for coming!”
